


What Food Crimes Will He Commit?

by Stone_of_Moss



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Blame them for this, That's it, inspired by the distant stars awaiting groupchat, jonny eats things he shouldn't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:40:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26689807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stone_of_Moss/pseuds/Stone_of_Moss
Summary: The crew catches Jonny eating things he shouldn't, that't it.
Comments: 15
Kudos: 105





	What Food Crimes Will He Commit?

“Hey Jonny have you seen m- what the fuck?” Jonny jerks his head up and looks Tim in the eyes. It takes a second for it to click but Jonny is eating his gun. The very gun the Tim was looking. “What are you doing? Don’t eat my gun!” He pulls out his other gun and shoots Jonny in the head. Once he reaches the corpse and has pulled his gun out of his mouth, he saw that half of it was already gone. The minute Jonny woke up he would be dead again. 

Of course, this wasn’t the last incident of Jonny eating things that most certainly shouldn’t have been eaten. For example, one day Brain walked into the practice room to see Jonny balling up paper and shoveling into his mouth. It was like he hadn’t had anything to eat in days and the paper was the only thing keeping him alive. Brian just kind of walked back and decided to make fun of him for it later. 

Another day Ashes walks into the kitchen and sees broken up chairs. There’re no bullets in the walls or blood on the floor and then they see him. Jonny is hunched over in the corner carefully breaking apart the chair in his hand and... is he eating the chair? 

“Are you eating that chair?” He spins around and falls. The chair he was holding out of his hand and sure enough he has half eaten chair in his mouth 

“Uh no, what are you talking about?” Jonny says through a mouth full of chair. 

“Jonny. Are you serious?” 

Later on, Marius walks into the main hang out room. It takes him a minute to realize why it seems emptier than normal. One of the couches are missing. The couch, the cushions, the legs of the couch, there’s not even a little bit of stuffing left. He heard the stories from Ashes and Tim but surely Jonny hadn’t eaten the whole couch. Right? They may be immortal but even they couldn’t eat a whole couch...right? Jonny walks in behind him at that moment. 

“Yeah we’re going to need a new couch when we go planet side next.” He starts to head to the one couch that remand. Then he burped and fluff came out. Fluff that would come from a couch. 

“You didn’t, did you? You ate the whole couch?!” 

The Toy Soldier held its carved teeth out to Jonny. It had been trying to give the teeth to him for the past two days but wouldn’t accept. With a sigh Jonny held out his own hand and TS dumped the teeth onto his palm. Without a single second of hesitation, he tossed them into his mouth and began to chew on them. 

“Do They Taste Good?” Jonny give it one sharp nod and walk away (still eating the carved teeth.) The Toy Soldier sets out to make more teeth snacks for Jonny. 

Ivy was going to lose it. A book that hadn’t been checked out had gone missing. Now this was normal, the crew would usually forget to sign out books. A couple of deaths and her book and then everything was fine. Except Jonny had been in here earlier and there was a 82% chance he had taken the book. Meaning there was 95% chance he had eaten the book. She had the others complaining Jonny eating things he shouldn’t be able to. She saw the way he had been eyeing her books. 

It took only ten minutes to find Jonny, hidden in a corner. It was obvious he knew she would come looking for her book. Ans sure enough said book was in his mouth. He’s only had the book for twenty minutes and he’d already eaten almost all of it! He stood up and started to run. She took off after him, after all she would have her one way or another. 

Nastya stared as Jonny examined the wall in front of him. Surely, he wouldn’t. Surely, he wouldn’t do exactly what she knew he was thinking. He stepped closer and she began to crawl forward. Then he did it. He bit Aurora. Nastya pushed herself from the vent and landed on top of him. 

“What are you doing? You know Aurora can feel that!” By the end of the day that hall was incredibly dirty and if a few of Aurora’s feelers had some blood on them, well who could complain? 

Jonny liked to help with experiments sometimes. To “See where my limits are, ya know Raph?” in his exact words. (She did indeed know.) What she wasn’t expecting was for him to be so excited about eating the things she gave him. It started out simple, some poisons, weird foods, just stuff like that but once she ran out of that he asked if she had more. Raph jokingly handed him on older glass tube that was broke. There were many things Raphaella expected of Jonny, him shoving the tube into his and eating it? That wasn’t one of them.


End file.
